Heather Nichols - Simple Obedience: Love God, Love People, Serve the World.

The Cost

Sun, 8 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

The Cost of Discipleship, by Dietrich Bonheoffer is my favorite book. Not because it’s an easy read, either. I couldn’t finish it the first time I opened it. I felt asking me to die was just "too much” for me. Bonhoeffer kept asking the readers to give up everything for the Kingdom of God.

Everything.

Quite honestly, I wasn't lovesick enough to give up everything. I didn't know how He felt about me, to what ends he would go to pursue me - or how faithfully He would call my name until I responded.

Knowing the Lord was asking me to forsake the many idols to fully pursue Him instead I clung on to them tightly. I closed the book to avoid further convictions.

The Cost was too high. Cheap grace was more my style. Inexpensive grace left me with an understanding that heaven was awaiting me regardless and I could spend this lifetime pursuing my desires the way I deemed best.

I missed something really key, in The Cost of Discipleship.

The Cost of Death.
…

Pursue the Holy Spirit’s presence, or drink too much wine?
Seek out revelations and encounters, or buy some ‘comfort food and console myself "this is what lifes about"
Soak in the Christ’s perfect peace, or rely on drugs to “chill out”.
Wait for the King of kings to speak, or pursue the next relational hook-up?
Bask in the Lord’s intimate knowledge… or be “intimately” known by man?
Know the Faithfulness of the Lord always stands true... "hoping" life turns out okay.
...

The Cost of Death, choosing to pursue the average joe’s idea of a “good time” costs us not only intimacy with our Creator – it destroys us. Robbing life of its fullness, stealing us away from hours of Right Worship in exchange for idol worship.

Bonhoefer is right, Discipleship is costly – Death, however, is much more expensive.

The Tulip Painting

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

This week I did something a wee bit unusual for me. I cracked open some acrylic paints, grabbed a blank sheet for my canvas, and set to work. Creating some art that only a mom would call a masterpiece, but that showed part of my heart nevertheless.

If you look closely [some imagination required] you’ll see a bunch of tulips in an overly large vase.

I don't even like tulips.
I mean, in Pella I put up with them only because it means Smoky Row too.

Why tulips then?

Tulips are originally grown in cold-winter climates, but often they are exported to other regions [i.e: Pella, Iowa]. When they are planted outside of their natural environment, the seed has to be placed around 8 inches further down to protect from harsh weather.

So, to answer "why?" I too have been “exported” to Cambodia, and placed in an unusually harsh climate. This atmosphere requires me to be deeply planted for survival in the middle of the winter season.

The weather is harsh and its fire burns hot, yet I can rejoice in it. I have been protected from the difficult elements because His love is the soil that keeps me safe. Wrapped in His love, and surrounded by His joy that pours out of it.

This Advent season I am properly in awe – again – of Christ’s seed that came down in all humility. Fully human, knowing and living through our pain, so we could be planted in Him.

What about you? Are you finding yourself barely hanging onto life during this season? Dig into the Lord deeper so that in the middle of harsh realities His beauty will move your heart to praise.

Thoughts + Excerpt from The Best Song Ever Written

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

What is the purpose of spilling out words on a canvas for you? Why do I share what my struggles are, where my heart lays?

I have become wordless recently, as you may have noticed, realizing that you have the ability to misconstrue my words however you deem correct. Not trusting you to read them, nor I to write, as Christ would.

Yet, after a short leave of absence, I am here again, painfully aware at how easily you can judge my words:

False, if they convict you too deeply.
Truth, because of my occupations title, when they are not.

But, because my mouth can't keep quiet and my fingers are not capable of staying still... I'm here again to share and allow criticism as the Lord justifies.

This is where my heart has been

The Power of Praying, Singing, Rejoicing, and Dwelling on Scripture

This past month I’ve been really blessed by online lectures from IHOP, specifically Mike Bickles series on the Song of Songs. The Song is a place the Lord has been drawing me to for the past 6 months. I would go to it, read it, study a little bit, become overwhelmed and put it down. Only to pick it up again, and again, and again… The musical side of me that clings onto lyrics could not stop being intrigued by the best song ever written.

Yes, the symbolism can be confusing.
Yes, you can find insanely wacked-out theological beliefs on The Song.

Yet, the passion found there is incredible and worth fighting for understanding. Dwelling on it has been the best thing I’ve done since coming to Cambodia.

I’ve discovered that as I read The Song repeatedly, and speak it out loud, my heart is becoming softened to the Lord’s voice.

I’m coming alive in an entirely different way.

One that rejoices in walking in Truth, even difficult Truth, when before I was merely obeying out of knowledge that it was good to obey Truth more then death. I'll leave you with a little excerpt from the best song ever written.

The Song of All Songs

¹ The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.
² May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth
For your love is better than wine
³ “Your oils have a pleasing fragrance,
Your name is like purified oil
Therefore the maidens love you.
⁴ “Draw me after you and let us run together!

My Reflection:
The Best Song, written by Solomon.

May He kiss me with the kisses of His mouth. For out of His Mouth pours forth Truth that awakens every dead particle of our beings. His Truth softens our hearts and brings us into right placement with Him.

May you kiss me with your Word, because Your love is better than wine. Not only wine, but every good thing you have given us! Family, Friendships, Children, Work, all of Your Creation!

Your oils have a pleasing fragrance, they burst forth! Your name is so beautifully perfumed that every maiden can't help loving you.

Draw me into your presence, o thank you for drawing me in! Let us run together, in full partnership, that we can spread your aroma together!

Let us run together, as a body, dwelling in all Truth and rejoicing in real, genuine life! Rejoicing in thankfulness and requesting to have this heart - one that desires full Truth, recognizes that Christ is better then any good thing, asking to come into full partnership.

If you want to check out the teaching series, you can search on iTunes Store for Yearn, Faint, Cry Song of Songs Discs 1-20. I believe they are produced by IHOP.

Feeding Jesus

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Choosing to step outside my Cambodian door I am met by Khmer people whose occupation title reads “begging.” Little boys, girls, moms, aunties and uncles…missing limbs, blind, deaf, uneducated. They put out their bowls and make the global “need rice” signal.

I have a desire to help them.
That desire, however, is kind of scary.
As my teammate Ellie eloquently put it in this blog:

“Do you want to know what I'm really scared of?
That if I stop and listen to you, I'll care.
And caring requires sacrifice.”

So, I push down all desire to give and distract myself.

Let me walk on by, push my way through, ignore your questioning eyes.

I may give you a few seconds of my time, though. What’s your favorite color, what’s your name, how do you like the weather, how’s your health?

You want me to buy you a meal? Too busy.
Help you in any other way – are you kidding me?

Yet, the Lord’s echoing voice constantly makes me question if that’s REALLY cool with Him. ‘Cause frequently I see Him having compassion on the desperate, instead of despising them.

When describing the Judgment scene when all the nations will be brought together in front of the Father, Jesus says:

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

Matthew 25:34-36

Whoa.

I step outside of my door everyday, and I can feed the KING. Not just a king but the King of all kings, Lord of all lords…and I have just begun to describe His Glorious nature.

I do NOT want to miss out on this opportunity.

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Matthew 25:40

In Cambodia, the beggars are pretty obvious. In your hometown, they are just as real too…although you might miss them if you don’t look. I’m going to challenge you to get outside of your circle, or maybe even stay within it, and see where there is hunger.

Give the King your loving gifts of food, clothes, water and maybe even a cake – today.

Forgetting What Matters

Thu, 3 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

One day, I woke up and thought to myself:

“I’ve been in Cambodia over one month; I should get out and start doing something. Enough with this whole learning phase. I’ve had about 10 Khmer conversations, read some books on sex trafficking, and visited organizations. Yes, I know what needs to be done. Now, I’ll go do it.”

Then, my Lord patiently sighed and said, “Dear Child, you have just begun learning.”

Sitting down at the feet of Jesus faithfully every day can be hard. Yes, it’s life-giving and beautiful. Unarguably the best decision anyone can make.

Yet, there are temptations everywhere to get up and run away.

The billion dollar sex industry thriving, thousands of people being submitted to eternal lives of hell, and people starving all in my neighborhood easily pull at me to come running out, in my flesh, to do something.

Easily, I have succumbed to thinking that doing more is a good answer.

If only we opened more orphanages & feeding programs, created more
business as missions, educated society more effectively.

IF ONLY WE CREATED MORE PROGRAMS.

Then, the problems would be solved.

If only I was doing more.
That is the mantra I’ve grown up with.
DO more.

That mentality is [deathly] wrong.

The LORD God is King.
Jesus is HIS name.
KING of ALL Kings.

He is the one that ends injustice,
                         Sets in motion plans for kingdoms and ethnic groups to praise Him,
                                     Parts the Red Sea,
                                                  & uses people like Moses, a man who was not eloquent in
                                                   speech yet became the Nation of God's spokesperson.

HIS heart is the one we must cry out to day and night,
for He is the only One needed.

HIS justice demolishing the wicked injustices of our generation.
HIS jealousy destroying the love of money.
His grace restoring our societies “unredeemable” people.
His mercy pouring out peace into the most violent of men.

Today, I repent of running away from Jesus’ feet to feebly attempt some human works. As I came close enough to my normal matted floor earlier today I heard His voice...

“Heather, look at your days of doing. What have you accomplished so far? You plan to go here and there with your own agenda of looking good. Listen to me, remember my word to you? I have called you here to pray, fast,and dancefor justice. You can keep on trying to do, but your plans will be thwarted until your plan is to sit with me and listen.”

So here I sit, humbled.

Asking the Lord,

“How do I pray change, dance against injustice, and fast for captives’ freedom? Teach me, Lord, I am sitting here, ready.”

Police Aren't Safe Here

Wed, 2 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

The first night eating out in Phnom Penh, I witnessed a police officer sitting while a 50 year old man sat with a young girl one table over from me.

I was a bit shocked then, I knew it would be everywhere but one table down seemed too… close.

This is normal now.

Each time, it’s a struggle.

I was able to visit IJM (International Justice Mission) Phnom Penh headquarters and hear about their work recently. While there, I was given greater understanding as to WHY it is normal for officers to watch underage prostitution deals unfold.

Previous knowledge that
                  yes, it is because the officers are using the prostitutes themselves,
patronize beer gardens,
and their pay is mostly bribes.

It is also, that they often have 3 months or less of training.

Yes.

Less then three months of training on law enforcement.

IJM has found that this lack of training has a variety of side effects:
1)     They don’t know the laws, in general. [Let alone the laws on prostitution].
2)     They have no desire to fulfill their duties well.
3)     They are not given training on how to report an underage prostitution case.
4)     Promotion within the field is achieved only through bribes. Getting paid off to keep quiet about a brothel or beer gardens activities is normal.

It almost seems hopeless.

Almost.

There is good news though.

There is ONE police officer who is a believer. ONE police officer who is helping IJM provide further training to interested police officers.

One, who refuses to pay bribes to move up in rank. Regardless of how many times he’s been offered the opportunity.

So, instead of looking at disgust with officers as I pass them by an overwhelming sense of Hope comes over me. Hope that the Lord would move in each one, that they would be changed internally and that would transfer to fulfilling their job requirements well. Hope that they would become men of high caliber who don’t beat their wives, frequent beer gardens and “coffee houses”.

So I’m asking you to pray with me, that officers would be raised up.

Pray that they would know The LORD, and follow His commands to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Jesus.

Tomorrow, I'm praying I'll learn about ten more that are believers!

The Watchmen Stand Guard

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

In Phnom Penh last night, a girl was gang raped by fifty men.

This is normal.
It happened to many girls last night, not just one.

In your neighborhood, a girl was violently assaulted before, during, and after the production of a pornographic video.
Hours later, computer screens flashed onto watch the video on repeat.

This is normal.

Does that disgust you?

Do you care that your current spouse, child, and brother will be exposed to these kinds of evil acts against humanity?

I hope so.
I hope you are hurting inside.

Because the LORD sees the plight of each hopeless heart and He is beckoning for His people to stand up pleading on their behalf.

So, you are formally invited, may we raise our voices in harmony, together watching and waiting for the LORD to set all captives free.

“Regarding Zion, I can't keep my mouth shut, regarding Jerusalem, I can't hold my tongue,
Until her righteousness blazes down like the sun
   and her salvation flames up like a torch.
Foreign countries will see your righteousness,
   and world leaders your glory.
You'll get a brand-new name
   straight from the mouth of God.
You'll be a stunning crown in the palm of God's hand,
   a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God.
No more will anyone call you Rejected,
   and your country will no more be called Ruined.
You'll be called Hephzibah (My Delight),
   and your land Beulah (Married),
Because God delights in you
   and your land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
   so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
   so your God is happy with you.
I've posted watchmen on your walls, Jerusalem.
   Day and night they keep at it, praying, calling out,
   reminding God to remember.
They are to give him no peace until he does what he said,
   until he makes Jerusalem famous as the City of Praise.
Isaiah 62:1-7

Unquenchable Thirst

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I feel a deep desperation welling up inside of me; one to search and know the entirety of the Trinity. I want to understand dreams, intercession, acts of love, and how all of those come together as the same thing:

worship.

I want to know the fullness of the Holy Spirit, the Blood of Jesus Christ’s power, and never leave the safety of Father God’s perfect love.

We all want that, don’t we?

I feel desperation to sit and wait at Jesus feet… but life is picking up. Things are beckoning me away from His beautiful feet. People to meet, friends to see, and both a language and culture that need to be learned. There are endless amount of people within walking distance from my house, who don’t know True Freedom.

Temptation is pretty high to do things that will make me look good;
in exchange, ignoring the reason for my creation.

Worship.

So I ask to sit and listen, and with His tender eyes He speaks.

Every word another gift, and increasingly I am enchanted by each one.
Delighted in His presence.
&
Desperate for more.

So I sit here, overwhelmed at His greatness, eager to spend the rest of my life sitting at His feet.
Fervently desiring to be walking with His Spirit’s power overflowing, holding His hand, and sitting tenderly attentive to every word He speaks.

The word’s bearing Life that continually lead me to Worship.

Rejoicing at the Father’s work despite the sinful flesh.

Rejoicing that He has even greater things for me ahead.

Rejoicing that He has greater things for you.

May we always be living with unquenchable thirst for more of Him.
May praise never leave our lips.

That together, we can live Fully Alive, in unquenchable desperation.

I Have Been Fooled.

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

For years of my life I have believed a prideful lie. One that has been re-iterated so many times, it is commonly believed to be Truth.

The lie that I have more than “poor, deprived, starving children in Africa.” In response, I have offered up sacrifices of guilt, poured out finances, time, and a pretend love… all in attempts to give Christ only to those who “really needed Him, because they don’t have anything else.”

The lie that I have more than “upper class filthy rich, uncompassionate, pricks living in mansions.”
In response, I have judged them as guilty. I have scoffed at their pain and turned my face from them. I have ignored that my God can easily show Himself to all, regardless of social status.

I have been blinded by lies not fully seeing.
We all really need Him.

Fooled by the physical, not realizing we all have the same spiritual reality.

I am merely a human; my education has not lifted me higher than a prostitute mother. I am the one that has contributed to showy church services void of meaning. I have given up pride offerings to bring justice, ignorantly forgetting to petition the God who created justice, and is fully just, to come through.

I have compared myself, time and again, to the “lesser Christians.” You know, the ones who sit in the church service, lethargically slouching in their pew – week after week.Failing to recognize my own desperate need for renewed Life, day after day.

Christ came for the sick, I am the sick.
We are the sick.
Americans… Africans… Cambodians…

We are the ones who have turned our backs on God’s voice, time and again.
We are the ones who have heard and seen the gospel, and still been blind to its
full power.

I eagerly announce to you my foolishness, that God may be more glorified in my life.
For He, in His almighty strength, has used me to announce His name.
Regardless of my infancy and misunderstanding of reality.

I praise the Lord, because He is the One who heals me from foolish, shallow thinking.
I rejoice that He is the perfect Papa who lovingly disciplines me when I forget He owns every dollar.
His Joy fills me, because in my sickness He has reached me.
I have touched His cloak,
And now in front of me I can see,
Truth.
The Truth That Sets Us Free.

Walking With Jesus

Tue, 4 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

There is a place I often go. It’s a shaded path with majestic trees and jutting paths that meet open meadows. The destination is usually a grassy knoll, where I lie with Jesus. On the way we dart into the trees, and explore the unmarked areas. There are fields of wildflowers, prairie grass, and Light.

Always Light.

Sometimes, we walk into what appears to be dark areas… but Light is always just ahead of our gait.

This past week, when I was on a team debrief in Vietnam, the Lord gave me a glimpse of our place in the physical world. A place He had to talk me out of normal, to experience.

“Trust me! Get out of your coffee shops and come explore with Me; I have fields of wildflowers for you,” He said.

The next day, I went walking in Vietnam’s capital. There, in the middle of the city was a beautiful green park. I instantly kicked off my shoes and walked around, marveling at the soft massage walking on wet grass provides.

Singing out praises and jumping with joy.

It was a breath of joy in the middle of painful heart surgery.

So, where is the place you visit with Jesus? If you don’t have one yet, I invite you to ask Him where He wants to visit with you.

“How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.”
Psalm 139:18-19

When Evil Occurs

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Toul Sleng is the infamous S-21 prison camp in Phnom Penh, which over 17,000 Khmer came through during the Khmer Rouge communist 4 year reign. The buildings are still enclosed with electric fencing and barbed wire, tiny prison cells remain, and the torture chambers with photographs depicting visually taking visitors back to the late 1970’s.

Of the 17,000 that arrived there, 7 made it out alive.
16,983 people murdered, by their own ethnicity, without any reasonable explanation.

Walking down the halls that echo of humanity lost, I was drawn to tears not at the stories of women’s nipples being cut off or men’s fingernails ripped from their hands. Instead, I was drawn to tears trying to see which one of the victims was my tuk-tuk driver’s father. Which face was the husband of our tour guide, and where did the souls of brutally murdered people, and their murderers, go?

I was struck with a question: How God, did you declare Yourself HERE. In the middle of death, How did you bring LIFE? How do you continue to bring LIFE out of the khmer rouge regime?

HOW did CHRIST show up in the 4 long years of injustice and brutality?

He showed me,

“I was in the middle of lines of people, lifting up their heads to look at my face."
“I was comforting mothers when their babies where being bashed against trees.”
“I showed up to the peacemakers and declared myself their Savior.”
“I touched the dirty wounds.”
“I made myself KNOWN, when they had only known false-worship before.”

Still today, Christ is in the market-place as slaves are bought and sold.
Comforting girls who are picking trash to care for their mothers.
Declaring His name to the river children.
Bringing mercy to lonely men.

He Remains the God of Justice, Mercy, and Redemption.

He is fighting for Cambodia; He has always fought for Cambodia

He's also fighting for YOU.

He's in the middle of your tears, your pain, and your desperation.

Waiting for you to look at Him, when evil is occuring all around you.

Look Up.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 24:18

Welcome To The Facade

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Step inside for a moment;

let me depict a fake picture of normalcy.

You step inside a restaurant, beer signs marking the entrance with multiple hostesses. Each woman sits patiently, seemingly just waiting to assist you. “10 more than in the U.S!” you think, pleased.

Everyone is wearing a pretty smile, happily beckoning you to come in.

With one step you enter a darkened tent, complete with mood lighting and one stage. A disco ball spins, hanging from the ceiling, while a band plays. After the song is complete, dancers begin to fill the stage. One male singer, who appears to be the lead, belts out a familiar song while the customers gaze.

Looking around, you smile, seeing cute couples talking and laughing with one another. It makes you miss the one you love, and a twinge of loneliness creeps in. Everyone is drinking beer and chatting, some even eating late-night dinners.

Waitresses instantly show you to a table, offering beer and a menu. Looking around there are a few white men, but mostly Khmers, and you feel proud that you have arrived at an authentically local establishment.

Welcome to Cambodia, the land of The Façade.

This scene plays over again in countless beer gardens across Phnom Penh, and the rest of Cambodia. In a country with anti-prostitution laws for minors, there is a veiled sex-trade being run in each beer garden.

If you didn’t know what you were stepping into, it might be easy to miss.

It’s not just the beer gardens either. It’s the cheap massage parlors and
couples out on the town in one-night “relationships.”

Tonight, I stepped inside one of The Facades.
             Not to observe evil taking place…
                  Nor to pity the girls dressed up with fake smiles.
                       Attacking the men wasn’t really on my mind either.

I stepped inside because I see myself
in every woman working,
man sitting,
and fake smile.

I went because if we reversed roles,
they would bring the Kingdom of God to me in the middle of The Façade.

Because fighting victoriously is not just for those who are already God’s children, but those who will soon be.

So, I will continue to fight, and I pray you continue to fight because:
“The prayers of a righteous man are POWERFUL and EFFECTIVE.”

So thank you, for stepping inside, The Façade.

Mind Throbbing Pain

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

My mind can run a million miles a minute. Potentially helpful but when operating in overdrive for long periods of time, complete collapse always comes.

In spiritual warfare, the mind is crucial.

2 Corinthians 10:5 states “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

The problem is, taking every thought captive when your mind is running fast is difficult. Even worse is what happens when we don’t take every thought captive.

This morning, I was in head-crushing pain. Sitting down, Bible in hand with worship music playing, I was surrounded by my team. Staring straight ahead I could function, sort of. “Don’t look right or left, and you can survive this morning,” I thought. I knew it wasn’t physical pain, but my vocal cords had no strength to speak.

My only attack mechanism left was to internally cry out to Abba Father.
…

The attack had started the night before. Anger welled up for no apparent reason. I was a ranting lunatic, frustrated with everything. Without sleep the night before my defenses were unusually low. Nothing was different this morning, except instead of ranting out loud and fighting with truth, my mind was turning into a mush of the devil's lies.

Two hours after sitting down, Kristen looked at me “Heather, how are you?” I knew what she was asking, but I didn’t know where to start.

“I can’t move.”

             Not only that, but I could barely speak
                                          or read.
                                               Eeking out worship in my heart was almost imposible.

In an instant, all of my team was around me. I could feel their presence even with hands covering my face, sobbing. I explained the war I was mentally raging.

One hour later, it was victoriously over. Pain gone, lies crushed.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phil 4:8

Spiritual warfare has been intense here for the past week [Read another story here]. We are threatening the devil's strongholds in Cambodia, and he is running scared. Please continue to pray protection through the armor's strength over us. We are embracing the victory we have already won:

The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.”

He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Luke 10:17-20

Christ is victorious

Pictures in the life: Becoming Khmer

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I've already shared with you how some of the intensity we have felt here in Cambodia. I also want to show you some of the pure fun moments captured in photos.

First, Want a house tour? Check out Cribs: Cambodia Edition.

I share my room not only with a HUGE bed, complete with a hello kitty sheet, but also this lovely lady.

Our amazing Tuk Tuk driver Savonay Oy helped us carry our desks and assorted wicker furniture home.
Victory note: I had approx a 30 second khmer conversation here, so I may not be fluent but close?

After getting settled in Phnom Penh for a few days, Mergalation happened. What is mergalation? It's the epic combining of two teams into one! Most (all?) of us were a bit scared of the process...
[Credit: Mel for creating the word "Mergalation"]

So lots of time was spent processing vision and roles.
[Candid photo credit: Noe]

In the middle of mergalation, we visited Angkor Wat. Built in the 12th century, it is huge with every temple and stone inticritely fashioned.

In the process of mergalation, I discovered my TWIN!
(Mom, why didn't you ever tell me ;).

Now, that Mergalation is over, we "rein khmer" study khmer, pray, try to learn the culture, and get to know shopkeepers. All the khmer are very sweet and help us practice the language (even when we are slow and don't make sense :)).

In between we eat in the market, where the booth owners not only give us delicious food BUT also help us learn khmer!

That's all for now, Leigh-hi! (bye!)

No Shame

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

“In this moment where I’m obsessing over whose waist line is smaller, You look at me and say ‘You are my treasured possession.’”

“In moments of high anxiety, about to burst into tears, You say: ‘You are more precious to me then diamonds, your worth is more then the most beautiful undiscovered jewels.’”

Resting in God’s presence during our team worship time this morning, He nourished my soul with this truth.
He spoke out His vision of me.
Whole, beautiful,perfected.

So there is no more shame.

There is no shame in gluttony, desire for marriage, pride, anxiety, cheating my way through 5^th grade math, or lying to people about who I am, what I desire, and what I feel.

There is no shame that as a 10 year old I spent a friend’s birthday party crying because they made fun of my dancing.

There is no shame of dressing to my standard of modesty.
There is no shame in desiring to minister in Cambodia, and refusing the "normal" post college life.

No Shame. So I can fully rejoice that regardless of how I act, who I am is exactly right, my passions are exactly right, and where I am is exactly right.

No Shame:

In rejection from men I’ve spent years being emotionally attached to
In telling you, or the world, my past or present messiness
In running from issues
In using food as god
In resting

Shame has no power.

Because I am His, and He is mine
&
His perfection has granted me protection from condemnation.
So I am free to confess, cry, mourn, rejoice, and live with you.
Free to laugh in the face of the one who plants shame, leaving vocal cords speechless.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

Amen.

This Is Love

Wed, 7 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Picture yourself sitting at home. Next door live acquaintances, people who have shied away from getting to know you. Every night your curtains are wide open, and you notice the neighbor girl leaves with the same man. Pulling up in a nice car, he is out of place in your poor neighborhood.

She’s only a young girl, but this is the norm for the girls in your town. They are expected to go away with men at night, only to be returned after sex to their caretakers. Passively you accept it, day after day. SIghing, of course, you turn away. Until one night, something inside of you snaps. Instead of allowing the man to come and take the girl away you walk outside of your front door. Across the lawn, 10 agonizing steps left to right, you walk to stand in front of this broken man.

No more, you say, I will not allow you to buy this girl for the night. Instead of stopping he stares you cold in the face, pummeling you to the ground. Grabbing the girl’s hand, he leaves you with crushed bones and in a hospital bed for weeks. Without money for simple food, you are completely dependent on others.

The first night, you think it was no use.
“Why did I snap and stare injustice in the face, saying ‘no more’ if this was how it would turn out?”

Then your answer comes, in the face of that same neighbor girl you fought for. Freely, she walks into the hospital each night with food to nourish you into recovery. Instead of sleeping with a man for money, she cares for you.

A girl who had dutifully obeyed her responsibility to provide for her family, despite the intense trauma being raped nightly required, was freed. The simple beauty is that it just took one to open their door, walk across their yard, and say “No More” to her slave master.

When God’s people raise themselves up and battle injustice, this freedom happens.

This story has happened in Cambodia, and it will continue to happen.
The Khmer people are turning their faces to God, and restoration is taking place.

It’s hard work, lots of hands are needed and prayer is a constant to defeat the chains of silence, oppression, and hatred.

So I’m asking you to rise up and PRAY.

I don’t want just 5 minutes of your day.
I want an hour, I want hours, and communities praying together.
I want you to pray that this story happens twenty times over.
I want you to pray for strength and endurance for God’s people here to rise up
I want you to pray for restoration
I want you to pray for freedom.

I want you to lift your voice, and give it to the men, women, and children who have none.
Petition our God for justice, and praise Him for the transformation He is bringing.

*This is a story from one of the long-term missionarys in Cambodia my team meet with yesterday. We were able to hear more about where needed services are, and what our role could be in helping those who have come before us.

A Simple Street Sign

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

“See that sign, it says Believe Jesus has Eternal Life.”

Abba Father is in Cambodia; he’s always been here.

Yes, maybe the devil has had what appears to be a “stronghold” here.
Yes, it is a place of immense lust, a place where:

“In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises. He boasts of the cravings of his heart, he blesses the greedy and reviles the LORD. In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God…. He lies in wait like a lion in cover; he lies in wait to catch the helpless, he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net...”
Psalm 10

Yes. This makes my heart hurt and anger flare up inside me.

Today God blessed us with an incredible gift: this sign, that he placed across the road just for us, years before we even arrived.

Before we arrived he sanctified this street for his purposes. It has always been here, waiting for us to arrive, all the while living out its purpose of blessing others who previously needed it.

We just stepped outside, to anoint the gate painted green with matching barbed wire covering the top. Waving to the neighbors, Elise stopped and read a sign she had never been able to understand before.

My heart jumped; Jesus was very distinctly
HERE.
RIGHT NOW
&
ALWAYS.

“The LORD is King for ever and ever; the nations will perish from his land. You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.” Psalm 10

Before the Vietnam War
Before Pol Pot
Before I existed

He’s always known that I was created to come here at precisely this time for His purposes.

Side Note: This is our beatiful home sweet home that the four girls who have been here for a year gave to us. It is an amazing gift, and we are incredibly thankful for both them (otherwise we would have had NO idea what the sign said!) and this home we are able to use.

Blessings.

1 Hour till landing

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

By the time you’ve read this I’ll have landed safely in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

One hour till landing is a weird journey point. A <very tiny bit> scary to realize that the next time you plan to step foot on U.S ground you’ll be 23 [which seems ancient right now].

And I ask myself,
       One.
             Two.
                    Three.
                              Four.
                                      Flights In.

Why?

Why is it important for me to take this journey?
Why am I so consumed with THIS restoration story, THIS place of re-birth?

And

What can I really do in two years, anyway?

What is compelling me so that I can’t hold back?

What causes me to run away from anything that might hold me back?

People call it a dream, passion or purpose. You can call it whatever you want, but it’s all-consuming.
Overwhelming Love, that grows in the little moments, exploding in hours of shame and hurt.

Abba Father has a way of instilling in every single one of us things we’ll do anything for. We still have a choice, to live in the purpose or run away from it.

I’ve had moments of distinctive clarity in purpose that I have merely walked away from because fear fought its way to victory.

In those moments I walked away from miracles.

It’s hard to look back and forgive myself for letting fear take control. It sucks to wonder how God was going to bless you, when you don’t open His gifts.

God is gracious enough to give us second, third, fourth chances though. He gives opportunities to fulfill necessary, heart-pounding desires that He’s placed within us.

That’s how this dream of being in Asia has felt.
It’s always been part of me.

People applaud me and say I’m great for doing it.
The thing is, I can’t say no; this dream is for me.
A gift.

I want you to embrace your all-consuming dream.
To, for a few steps, let the dream power propel you one step forward in fulfilling it.

I want you to risk failing, at something, with me.

Because really, as a white girl who doesn’t know the language, it appears that I’m setting myself up for failure in doing something valuable.

I don’t know what that added value is going to look like.

You might not know how your dreams are going to work out either.
God does.
With Him, it’s not even really failure, just training seasons for something greater.

He’s created this story of four flights and one 2-year destination just for me. It’s a great story; I feel it in the calmness of my blood. In the salty tears that refresh me. It’s a story that will not be ignored, because it has CHRIST written all over it.

So it’s 45 minutes till landing.

I’m strangly calm.

This is my journey – it’s our journey – to live our dreams and be in epic God stories.

Weak of Departure

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

No, that heading isn’t a typo – it’s just that this past week has been HARD. I’ve lived trying to hide my head under a pillow in self-loathing despair.

I’ve binged, more then normal. Snapped at my mom, for no reason other then she was talking. I’ve complained about blessings that any sane person would rejoice over.

I've Walked in fear.
Dug into old hurts with annoyed fists after asking God for the opportunity

Even had to delete an angry, rambling, blog.

Whew, all that for more, you could probably ask my mom in four days.

And I’m a missionary.

People have a funny idea about missionaries. A friend explains it this way:
"There are different 'levels' of radically following Christ. The lowest level is the businessmen/women, middle is the pastors, and then… way up “there” missionaries stand."

The "Level" idea is dead wrong.

Take me, for example.

....

Ya, exactly... i'm pretty sure it had to have been shortly after meeting me that he realized how wrong this idea was.

If I wasn’t still in a constant battle to follow the Holy Spirits leading I’d be in heaven. Maybe that’s where the level idea is actually true: People on earth at one level and people in heaven on a different level.

I just know being a person on earth is a battle, period.

Currently, my battle is moving to Cambodia. Packing isn't my thing. I hate goodbyes. There is still past junk seeping to the surface. These things make it a very messy battle.

For you, It might be going back to teaching school (shout-out to my amazing teacher/counselor friends), struggling through an awkward “what’s next” time, or being too comfortable in the same job you had 3 years ago.

So, because we are all equally messy individuals (regardless of profession) I share my weaknesses with you.

Why?
It helps me look up from myself and recognize I’m NOT alone.

When I invite others into my messiness, I’ve found they fight for, and love me, through it.
When others invite me in, I can utilize the Word of God and fight for them also.

This is the sword I was given to fight with yesterday as I shared these things with a friend:

“I have no fear of bad news; my heart is steadfast; trusting in the Lord. My heart is secure, I will have no fear.” Psalm 112:7-8

When I don't know what news is ahead; my heart is steadfast
When I still struggle with deep yet-fulfilled desires, I trust in the Lord my provider
When I want to binge: I don’t need foods comfort – My heart is secure
When I’m scared of recognizing past pain: I will have no fear

If I hadn't shared/confessed my struggles she wouldn't have known what words of Truth I needed to be given.

So, let's share messiness, so crazy ideas that somehow a few of us are on a different "level" then another aren't believed.

I Can't Praise You Near Enough

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I’m writing to testify that GOD IS GOOD, today.

TODAY I’m in awe because the journey of standing in wonder at God giving me heart desires still continues.

This summer has been a smorgasbord of heart desires being answered, and HERE is a snippit of just the last WEEK.

HEART DESIRE: UNITE GOD'S PEOPLE today, I was honored to not only have a pastor preach a sermon about God’s work in my life, but also a Priest give a homily about it.

¹¹ So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Eph 4:11-13

HEART DESIRE: TO ENCOURAGE BELIEVERS IN Mtown, IOWA and every individual who receives the TR had an opportunity to be encouraged by God’s active work.

…Paul sent for the disciples and, after encouraging them, said goodbye and set out for Macedonia...
Acts 20:1

HEART DESIRE: TO HAVE A WIDE SUPPORT BASE… so that many can be encouraged by God’s beauty in the middle of slavery… It feels like my entire TOWN is behind me. People I’ve never meet, now know a little bit of God’s presence in my life. People who I haven’t ran into for years, are connecting again.

⁵ This is what God the LORD says—
the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out,
   who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it,
   who gives breath to its people,
   and life to those who walk on it:
⁶ “I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness;
   I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
   to be a covenant for the people
   and a light for the Gentiles,
⁷ to open eyes that are blind,
   to free captives from prison
   and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
Isaiah 42:5-7
I get to openly share on here about GOD THINGS, like this!!!

HEART DESIRE: TO EDUCATE AMERICANS ON THE SEX TRADE… and my (albeit small) corner of the world, home for the past 21 years, now knows more then before. (& how to actively live out this verse)

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27

HEART DESIRE: TO INVITE OTHERS TO JOIN IN PERSON... and already, so many are showing interest in physically moving to take part in God’s work in Cambodia.

Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.
Matthew 9:38

[PLUS: I’ve always wanted a good picture of me without a smile, and finally I have one, because I believe God even loves doing things THAT SMALL for us]

BAH! I don’t know how to thank Him enough, so please join me in praising Him for amazing, undeserved, LOVE.

Awkunh Ch'ran (Thank You!)

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

This is one extensive
Thank You!
TO:

My biological family who has always supported my heart for Asia, and all things missions.
(Look @ what SWEET dresses I used to wear! Stay tuned to see if I can bring these into style ;)

First Baptist Church, the first extended family I’ve ever known.

My beloved college church.
For taking me in as there own, even when I could only be there 2 years.

EFree – Your support & encouragement is a blessing!

The sweet AIM support team! (Melinda, Allie, Alycia...)
Reign Ministries - Royal Servants [Eikenberrys, Halseths, & Rachel … THANK YOU]
Perspectives Family You get my heart, that means more then words express
Every Ethne The work God is doing through you is priceless
UNI Navs You loved & taught me how to "Know Christ & Make Him Known"
AZD Sisters Your beautiful faces taught me more than you could know
UNI Lang Hall professors & students I love y’all!
M’town Citizens I’m only leaving because I KNOW God is going to do WORK through & in your lives.

And to ALL of you extraordinary people who have let me take part in your lives
.
THANK YOU!

You have extended the meaning of family from 8 biological members to the entire body of Christ.

Of course, it all goes back to my Abba Father, the Good & MIGHTY Lord. The One who showed me I could trust, not only Himself but also others. The God who gave prophecy, speech, discipline, and understanding when I needed it.

I am rejoicing in thankfulness tonight!

And I’m so glad that being fully funded is only the beginning of this epic story!
Please join me on this journey of learning & restoration.
______________________________________________________________

Prayer: Team unity as we spend time together this weekend, and the time in the last 13 days in the States.

Shattering Bricks

Mon, 8 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

“You? I can’t imagine you ever getting married”. Brick one, placed without hesitation. As a 12 year old I felt more truth in that statement than any other. Knowing she could see something repulsively wrong within me.

“Stop caring so much, no one wants to know your upset”. Brick two, laid with agonizing ‘happiness’ as poison poured down my soul. I became a walking mechanical doll of feigned indifference and fake laughter. Only silent, hidden tears ever came.

Every time I cared too much, loved too deeply, showed unaccepted anger, or allowed any uncontrolled emotion to well up I felt the stinging rejection. If only I could be free of feeling, I could be free of others.

I “arrived” at emotional deadness when I heard the enemy’s mocking laughter in delight that at my outward apathy. Inwardly, I then questioned if my smile and nod was even wrong.

BRICK AFTER BRICK FIRMLY PLACED.

I built the wall from the inside, knowing something external was also occurring. Though I couldn’t physically see it, the Enemy was spreading thick plaster over the outside feeding me with lies that ‘your pain doesn’t matter’, ‘your being too dramatic, that doesn’t really hurt’ and ‘just get over yourself’.

I went to church, lead in youth group, didn’t have sex, & went on mission trips. Fake victories even occurred within those brick walls covered in plaster.

I knew Truth, I could even explain Truth to others, but I couldn’t live in it.

Brick after brick, the second layer began.

Not only did my emotions become controlled, but I learned the power of controlling others. Giving a false sense of strength rooted in pride, independence, and lies.

I worked really hard at Christianity.

I continually internalized all of MY sins and rehashed them. Without recognizing that I was pushing down every sin committed AGAINST me.

For that I now stand: A MESS.

The laughter I have let overwhelm all other emotions has been overcome with a deep mourning. Tears well up in my soul, not only for the Cambodia people that need restored, but for my own self that is desperate for the same restoration.

THE BRICKS HAVE FALLEN.

I am standing in the rubble.
My God has pulled me up to WAGE WAR.
So, I stand ready to bend over and search through the rubble for the Truth that will overcome every brick’s lie.

Taking in the Sunrise

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Support-raising is like climbing a Colorado mountain just in time to see the sun coming up over the horizon.
The dark path up requires flashlights as roots appear along the path. Fitful noises, sent out like a clanging alarm clock, ward off potential bear attacks.

Desperate, you push forward rounding the last bend with satisfaction. Finding the chair God carved out for you, the waiting begins. Patience wears thin as anxiety increases in the wait for the first signs of the sunrise appear. Then the Sunrise stretching over the mountains in such a glorious fashion joy pours out of every body pore.

How simple rejoicing on the mountaintop is, the wide view provokes Kingdom vision. In retrospect God’s marvelous faithfulness appears and you understand how he safely brought you up the dark trail. You look ahead in anticipation of how He will continue to prove faithful.

I sit atop the mountain looking out in pure wonder at God’s faithfulness. Instinctively, I have always known this place existed – He has always been faithful. However, the agonizing climb sometimes yielded to a gut wrenching crawl that left my hands and knees mangled from the mucky rock path.

I always knew the purpose behind my climb was to see Gods glory. This excitement pushed me forward despite the danger. Saying, “God has called me, God has provided” produced enough noise to grant a peaceful calm, warding off the devils attacks. Other times, I tripped… or more like collapsed on my face without warning. Wednesdays came that seemed so pointless I wondered why I tried. Calls became more difficult, desperation for God to show up became greater. I thought I had arrived at the mountain top… just to be shown an even greater view further up.

It’s been a hard climb. Yet, God has led me up to sit and marvel at His glory.

With anticipation I wait to see how He picks me up to dance in this place of beauty.

Brother Number Twos Impact Continues

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So, from last weeks post we can safely say I hate what Brother Number Two stands for and what He has done. His hands are filthy with blood and he will face the consequences of his acts along with 3 other of the regimes top leaders. I’m excited to praise the Lord as I trust his guilty verdict will be read soon.

Last week I simplified his crimes, simply stating he had killed about 1/3^rd of Cambodia’s population. The reality is the Khmer Rouge regimes impact is still being felt today.

Uloma, a native Cambodian women, researched the sex trade in Cambodia for AIM's team. This is incredibly helpful as we begin ministry, giving great insight into the cultures history and ministry needs. Last week the team recieved a report highlighting implications of the Khmer Rouge’s rule. In it Uloma stated:

In 1975 the Khmer Rouge began what would be four years of a radical revolution against its own people. Through execution, starvation, disease, and forced labor; they would successfully eliminate an estimated third of their countries population...‘Better to destroy ten innocent people than let one enemy go free,’ [was their ideology]... I believe that the Khmer Rouge numbed a country and the painful remembrance/legacy has created an array of consequences.

These implications include imprinting a mentality of destruction, helplessness, and violence. This is combined with inprinting a mentality where consciences become void and people become a mere object. An explotation mentality has also been ingrained.This brainwashing is the root cause of a cultural norm that allows parents to sell their own children without feeling any guilt.

The communist regimes impact does not stop there. Still today their torture methods are being used against innocent victims. Now, instead of “traitors” it is sex slaves held in brothels that are forced to endure them. Electric shock is most popular, with coffins full of biting ants also being popular. These torture chambers are hidden underground to muffle screams, found when brothels are torn down.

In a documentary on the Khmer Rouge, Brother Number Two only mentions the impact he had during the war. Unfortunatly, the consequences of his evil acts will be passed down for generations.

& yet, I have great hope for God to bring about cultural restoration in Cambodia. Even as I write, my excitement continues to build as I see the Lord raising up prayer warriors on behalf of Cambodia. Continually, I cling to Gods promises found in Isaiah 42:

⁶ “I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness;
   I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
   to be a covenant for the people
   and a light for the Gentiles,
⁷ to open eyes that are blind,
   to free captives from prison
   and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
⁸ “I am the LORD; that is my name!
   I will not yield my glory to another
   or my praise to idols.
⁹ See, the former things have taken place,
   and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
   I announce them to you.”

Please, join me in ferverent prayer to the Lord on behalf of those in Cambodia. Fall on your knees, scream at the top of your lungs, whisper, and let tears fall - that the Sovereign God of ALL would breath out justice & compassion on Cambodia.

Mercy for Brother Number Two

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I hate Communism. It makes my blood curdle and my fists clench. I often think communist leaders deserve the most heinous deaths possible. Preparing to enter a country which is still dealing with consequences of communist rule, the men behind the idea have been on my mind.

What is the proper response to them, when their ideology is so flawed?

I love mercy (when I’m the one receiving it). I even enjoy it when I can see the people who drank too much, cheated on their significant other, or lived behind bars receive it. Mercy can end there though. I don’t truly enjoy seeing leaders in charge of millions deaths given it. Nor people like Casey Anthony freed. I’m not alone on this one either, I’ve read enough opinion pieces on evil people to know not many would offer them mercy.

As we speak, Cambodia’s old communist regime leaders are being put on trial. Brother Number Two is one of those. Millions were murdered under his orders to create an agrarian society. Most are calling for his death or life-time sentence... this simply seems to be the only right answer.

...

My blood has boiled along with the rest of those who have heard about and seen the destruction Brother Number two helped generate. Senselessly destroying families, displacing communities, and harming the very poor they were supposed to protect.

Yet, I still wonder.

What would happen if instead of justice, Brother Number Two received Christ-like Mercy. Would he see Christ, if we poured His mercy out? Is it worth the risk of never giving him the consequences he deserves for the evil committed?

Noun Chea Photo Credits

It is crazy, irrational, insane.
But then, so is God caring for people who defy, ignore, mock, and murder his only Son.

Thoughts?

Unified Love

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I’ve already introduced you to my team here.

This past week though, I’ve been doing a lot more praying about each one of these beautiful ladies. I wish you could meet every single one of them, because I know you would be equally astounded by their hearts. & as I pray my heart rejoices more daily because I'm realizing just how perfectly God knitted our team together.

To prepare for doing life collectively, we’ve been taking all of these personality tests. You know, Myers Briggs stuff. Tests that tell us here are your strengths, weaknesses, personality traits. Here is where you may clash most and what you’ll understand about each other.

I love that God has always known.

That’s why he handpicked every single one of the six going [& of COURSE our sweet supporters (Melinda, Allie, Alycia)]. He knows which ones of us are Extroverted/Introverted, Sensing/Intuitive, Feeling/Thinking, Judging/Perceiving, and the degrees with which we are each category.

Undoubtedly we are varied, but what I've been finding in my prayer time is this: Love makes us "Same, Same, but Different" as we would say in Cambodia. Same love of Christ, Same love for Cambodia, but different irreplacable qualities.

As I’ve been meditating & praying over 1 Corinthians 12 & 13, the Lord has been revealing that our team will work all things through with love. This is going to be our key to ministry, living together, and assimilating to a completly different culture. We will truely be of one heart and mind. Not only because God COMMANDS it (1 Jn 4:19-21) but simply because of how He overflows in us. This overflowing, He's been saying, will allow us to wholeheartedly embrace the different gifts.

"But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body."
1 Cor 12: 19-20

Just IMAGINE:

One prophecies restoration, while another heals the sick.
The healed then are taught by another body part.
One serves meals & another counsels so both phyiscal & emotional growth can occur.
While another coordinates finances & logistics.

What a beautiful picture. All different gifts brought together by a God who created us to help each other.

All "different" but covered in the "same, same" heavenly love.

¹ If I speak in the tongues^{a]" _cke_saved_href=">a]">[a]} of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^{b]" _cke_saved_href=">b]">[b]} but do not have love, I gain nothing.
I’m SO excited that I get to continually marvel at God’s perfection in picking out our team.
1 Cor 13:1-3

Unified Love.
THAT is what our team is about.
THAT is what we were created to BE.

[In]Dependence

Wed, 6 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Dependence is a funny state. We all start out that way, little babies desperatly needing our mothers milk to survive. Without those nutrients we would never flourish. Babies grow though, and likewise I was under the impression dependence was only a stage of life - nothing permanent.

I believed college was where independence was gained, and the rest of life was spent being such. Independence meant I didn’t need anyone else. I could lock my heart inside a square box, ensuring its safety. While I didn’t necessarily add independence from God into the equation… it did came as a side, unmentionable note.

Because really, dependence on God doesn’t always seem very key when living in middle class suburbia. & it certainly has never fit into my plan of self-sufficency.

I look into my [parents] cupboards, and it seems as if my “daily bread” has been overly supplied. No need to depend on God there. If I work hard enough, I’ll raise the finances to go to Cambodia, correct? & about those relationships I desperately need, but pretend I don't… I’m not really dependent on people to come through, am I? I can live independently - it is possible?

…

I think I’ve misconstrued a lesson from babies dependence though.

This inherent “independence” I’ve so deeply loved is really a complete lie. Maybe all the 401 k’s, credit cards, college degrees, and big homes in the world simply lead to an illusion of control.

Could everyone be just as dependent on God for daily bread regardless of their current financial status? Maybe the poorest & richest man really do have a lot in common. One just recognizes dependence more frequently.

I’m in a place where full dependence on God is required. – & think maybe you are – too.

Dependence for the Lord to:

break me of all the secrets I try so hard to keep from others.
pour out grace onto my wounds.
provide bread for every meal & a home to share.
see the praiseworthy things in life.
Overflow in me
grant breakthroughs
experience “abundantly MORE then all I ask or imagine”.

So, each day I'm praying for increased understanding of my dependence. May there be more struggles that I can’t overcome. More pain I don’t want to deal with. & more heavenly provision then I can fathom. All this, that my knowledge of Gods unbreakable faithfulness and glory increase.

My Sister Was Trafficked.

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

No screams escaped her lips with a look of sheer terror in her eyes. I stood shocked into paralysis… completely traumatized by what I just saw. I remember the look of terror in her eyes. No screams came from my lips. Together we were silenced by our fears. There were people surrounding us, but no one stopped it from happening. It seemed to be the norm. Dirty looks shot my way and my mother started yelling for silence. A wade of bills exchanged hands and then… In a moment she was gone.

My mind churned with what would happen next.

Why did so many of my friends suddenly dissapear like this?.

Rape

Unfathomable abuse.

Death.

As I write this, tears fill my eyes.

Why her and not me? What saved me from being taken?

* This story is an excerpt from a news story I watched.

I refuse to be shocked into paralysis any longer.

I will not go on when she stays in chains.

I CAN NOT sit here passively any longer.

The sex industry is taking our sisters every day.

She is just one of millions in the 32 Billion dollar industry.

Ranging in age from 5 - 45

No education – No love – No options.

Justice? What does that word even mean?

+This is NOT to sensationalize the issue. This is reality. I firmly believe we have a very real obligation to care for the widows, orphans, and outcastes. To extend mercy and seek justice – that is why I share this. God did not bless us so we could stay comfortable in our typical lifestyles – He did so that we may bless others.

rise up and seek justice with me.

By Christs power we will see our sisters freed.

A Letter Of Transparency

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Friends,

I’m excited but completely terrified. I’m leaving for Cambodia in approximately 2 months. There, God is letting me live my dream. But here in the U.S life goes on. You keep doing the normal, everyday, routine things. Your life doesn’t push "Pause" just because I’m not in it. Some of you are going to be married when I come back, others will have kids. Some of you don’t even know it yet…but you’ll move jobs and change addresses. No doubt, some of you will even pass away.

Friends, I’m trying to be prepared for the changes that will happen. I just don’t know how. It’s strange to think that I just potentially said goodbye to my favorite nephew for the next two years. Weird to know one of my best friends is getting married tomorrow… and her life is going to look completly different when I get back.

I don’t really dwell on these thoughts very often. Frankly, it’s just not very fun and I would rather look forward to the future then contemplate that I'm also saying "cya later" to so many. But please know, regardless of how long (or short) of time we’ve known each other. I will miss you. For those of you who I haven’t seen in a long time – my Ireland & Nepal families, Camp Id Ra Ha Je, JAX STP, & UNI friends: I still think of you, pray for you, and remember the time God gave us together joyously. I’ve been beyond blessed to get you in my life and have such a great base of support.

I wish we could sit down with a cup of coffee and have a long afternoon discussion - or go on a short adventure together. We can’t though, so here is my continued prayer for you: That you would grow more in love with Christ every day. Taking risks and laughing at fears by boldly stepping out in faith. I pray that you would see your beauty & creativity is needed for a specific, God-given purpose.

I love you, more then you can imagine. Trust Jesus, He loves you FAR MORE then imaginable.

-- Heather

P.S: Feel free to keep me updated on life... yes even after being gone a year I stil want to know about the changes in your life!

Here is a video that shares a little bit more about the journey that God's brought me on to this point: (Thanks to Matt Tully for shooting/editing it!)

Safety First!

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Growing up I was always told to wear a helmet, use the sidewalks, and look both ways before crossing the street. Safety was my parents top concern… as it probably should have been. Recently, I’ve been getting this “Safety First!” question by almost every one of my ministry partners. Safety is a good question… it allows people to know how to pray, what situation I’m going into, etc.

I want to address this question because first, it's one that I tend to slough off as unimportant. Being relatively young and naive I can be a little reckless at times. But, DONT WORRY! Far wiser people then me are leading... and the ministry I’ll be doing is safe. There IS NOT any big threat.

But can we pretend, for a moment that Cambodia is NOT safe.

What if I was going somewhere that the likelihood of my death was almost certain. If I was to follow Elizabeth Elliot, who went to people who killed her own husband and beloved friends, would you not encourage me? Or if I was going to Afganistan, Pakistan, or India… all places hostile to the Gospel? What if like Hudson Taylor I was called to a place no English man had stepped foot in?

Could you honestly tell me to stay?

Would you place "Safety" above the souls of countless people?

What really IS safety anyways? I think we have a very false, very wrong idea of what it means to be protected from danger. Security systems, locks, and helmets do not equal freedom from burglaries or head injuries. In Ephesians the Lord tells us the power and authority that gives us complete safety:

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

GO BACK & READ IT. [Yes, those of you who “already know it” – don't skip it]

Total protection is placing the armor of God on EACH DAY.

“Safety First!” may be a good kindergarten concept – but active practice in the adult age leads to immaturity and disobedience. God does not call us to safety – but to uncomfortable, illogical, lives that are beautifully and fully devoted to seeking first HIS Kingdom and HIS righteousness.