By the time you’ve read this I’ll have landed safely in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
One hour till landing is a weird journey point. A <very tiny bit> scary to realize that the next time you plan to step foot on U.S ground you’ll be 23 [which seems ancient right now].
And I ask myself,
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Flights In.
Why?
Why is it important for me to take this journey?
Why am I so consumed with THIS restoration story, THIS place of re-birth?
And
What can I really do in two years, anyway?
What is compelling me so that I can’t hold back?
What causes me to run away from anything that might hold me back?
People call it a dream, passion or purpose. You can call it whatever you want, but it’s all-consuming.
Overwhelming Love, that grows in the little moments, exploding in hours of shame and hurt.
Abba Father has a way of instilling in every single one of us things we’ll do anything for. We still have a choice, to live in the purpose or run away from it.
I’ve had moments of distinctive clarity in purpose that I have merely walked away from because fear fought its way to victory.
In those moments I walked away from miracles.
It’s hard to look back and forgive myself for letting fear take control. It sucks to wonder how God was going to bless you, when you don’t open His gifts.
God is gracious enough to give us second, third, fourth chances though. He gives opportunities to fulfill necessary, heart-pounding desires that He’s placed within us.
That’s how this dream of being in Asia has felt.
It’s always been part of me.
People applaud me and say I’m great for doing it.
The thing is, I can’t say no; this dream is for me.
A gift.
I want you to embrace your all-consuming dream.
To, for a few steps, let the dream power propel you one step forward in fulfilling it.
I want you to risk failing, at something, with me.
Because really, as a white girl who doesn’t know the language, it appears that I’m setting myself up for failure in doing something valuable.
I don’t know what that added value is going to look like.
You might not know how your dreams are going to work out either.
God does.
With Him, it’s not even really failure, just training seasons for something greater.
He’s created this story of four flights and one 2-year destination just for me. It’s a great story; I feel it in the calmness of my blood. In the salty tears that refresh me. It’s a story that will not be ignored, because it has CHRIST written all over it.
So it’s 45 minutes till landing.
I’m strangly calm.
This is my journey – it’s our journey – to live our dreams and be in epic God stories.
Beautiful!
Dang, you wrote all that in 15 minutes? Imagine what you can do in two years!
What an adventure it will be. With a heart like yours, Heather, the sky is the limit.
Yes, along the way their will be heartbreak. That’s what God allows to grow your heart even further. Any muscle has to be torn down before it can grow.
But God can do so much with a heart that is submitted to his molding.
Looking forward to seeing you in a few days!
so excited to give you a real HUG in person and finally spend time with you!!!
Dear Heather,
I love this blog, especially the statement that says
“With Him, it’s not even really failure, just training seasons for something greater”.
We all need to remember this! This story and your teams stories will have Christ written all over them as well. He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it! Amen.
Heather,
I look forward to being a part of your journey. You have made a difference already as you have physically left one location and embarked on another. Your presence in the face of everyone you are with will cause some influence or change to occur. You are already effecting the future no matter how big or small. Glad you followed your purpose. Thinking of you…
“It’s hard to look back and forgive myself for letting fear take control. It sucks to wonder how God was going to bless you, when you don’t open His gifts.
God is gracious enough to give us second, third, fourth chances though. He gives opportunities to fulfill necessary, heart-pounding desires that He’s placed within us”
You seriously have NO idea how much I needed to hear this today. I am praying for you! I am so excited to be able to follow you in this journey and see what all God does in you as well as for the Khmer people. Make sure and check out Cafe’ Fresco on the Riverfront sometime in the next two years that you are there. We spent most of our time on our days off there. That, and tutti frutti! AMAZING.