Dependence is a funny state. We all start out that way, little babies desperatly needing our mothers milk to survive. Without those nutrients we would never flourish. Babies grow though, and likewise I was under the impression dependence was only a stage of life – nothing permanent.
I believed college was where independence was gained, and the rest of life was spent being such. Independence meant I didn’t need anyone else. I could lock my heart inside a square box, ensuring its safety. While I didn’t necessarily add independence from God into the equation… it did came as a side, unmentionable note.
Because really, dependence on God doesn’t always seem very key when living in middle class suburbia. & it certainly has never fit into my plan of self-sufficency.
I look into my [parents] cupboards, and it seems as if my “daily bread” has been overly supplied. No need to depend on God there. If I work hard enough, I’ll raise the finances to go to Cambodia, correct? & about those relationships I desperately need, but pretend I don't… I’m not really dependent on people to come through, am I? I can live independently – it is possible?
…
I think I’ve misconstrued a lesson from babies dependence though.
This inherent “independence” I’ve so deeply loved is really a complete lie. Maybe all the 401 k’s, credit cards, college degrees, and big homes in the world simply lead to an illusion of control.
Could everyone be just as dependent on God for daily bread regardless of their current financial status? Maybe the poorest & richest man really do have a lot in common. One just recognizes dependence more frequently.
I’m in a place where full dependence on God is required. – & think maybe you are – too.
Dependence for the Lord to:
- break me of all the secrets I try so hard to keep from others.
- pour out grace onto my wounds.
- provide bread for every meal & a home to share.
- see the praiseworthy things in life.
- Overflow in me
- grant breakthroughs
- experience “abundantly MORE then all I ask or imagine”.
So, each day I'm praying for increased understanding of my dependence. May there be more struggles that I can’t overcome. More pain I don’t want to deal with. & more heavenly provision then I can fathom. All this, that my knowledge of Gods unbreakable faithfulness and glory increase.
